Moving Elderly Parents: Assisted Living Close To Family

Posted by: The Bristal

Choosing an Assisted LivingDear Maryellen,

My parents have finally agreed that it is time to move to assisted living. Our next hurdle is deciding where to move them. Should we move them somewhere near their home or to an assisted living community closer to us?  -Steve

Dear Steve,

Great question! And one The Bristal communities receive quite often. For many years, retirees from states like New York, flocked to Florida and Arizona. But in recent years, we’ve noticed the snowbirds are less likely to stay put in those warmer states. Instead, they are choosing to move closer to their adult children. And also, let’s face it, closer to the main attraction…their grandchildren!

Here are a few pieces of advice that we can offer your family as you make this decision:

  • Ask your parents what they want to do. Then really listen to their answer. As simple as that sounds, adult children often fail to ask their parent what they want to do or to include them in the decision making process. Then they are surprised when their plans for their loved one are met with resistance. If they want to move to a community near their home, it is probably best to respect their choice. Understand that at this point in their lives, they may not be willing to give up their friends, their church and their community connections. But are they saying that just to try to keep from being what they perceive as a burden to you if they move closer? They may need reassurance that you would like to have them closer to your family.
  • Support your parent’s decision and offer your assistance. Let them know their happiness and safety is most important to you.
  • Think about how long you will be living where you are. Is there a chance you or your wife may be transferred to another state for work? That would mean leaving your parents behind in an area where they have no family or uprooting them again.
  • Explore their options. In a rural community, you may not find many senior living choices that meet their needs now or later when they need more support.

I hope this helps you. I wish you and your family good luck with this new chapter in your lives!

Best Regards,


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