Candidate for Assisted Living?

Posted by: The Bristal

Dear Maryellen,

My 87-year-old mother-in-law is quite frail, barely walks and had her colon removed due to cancer. In addition to a stoma, an ileostomy bag and dementia, she does not relate well to others and can be quite combative. My wife and I can no longer care for her. We were wondering if she would be a candidate for The Bristal. What is your monthly charge, is there a community entrance fee and is that fee returnable? -Robert

Dear Robert,

Thank you for visiting I am sorry to hear that your mother-in-law is so frail. I truly wish your family the very best as you confront these difficult issues. However, I must inform you, Robert, that The Bristal would not be able to accommodate her due to her advanced medical needs. We are licensed by the New York State Department of Health as an Assisted Living community, which means there are strict guidelines regarding resident admission and retention, and your mother-in-law’s care needs extend beyond that range.

Here’s how I might suggest moving forward. If you haven’t done so already, you can start by having a PRI (Patient Review Instrument) conducted and begin considering Skilled Nursing Communities. How do you get started? Most Home Care Agencies employ nurses who can do this for you, or you can contact your local Office of the Aging for help with placement recommendations. Also, if either your mother-in-law or father-in-law is a veteran, you might be entitled to assistance from the VA Aid and Attend Program.

This last suggestion is meant for you and your wife, Robert, because I know how challenging these circumstances can be for family caregivers. You two may find personally helpful guidance and assistance by attending support group meetings held by both the Alzheimer’s Foundation and the Alzheimer’s Association. Check online for local chapters. In the meantime, feel free to reach out to me with any further questions.

Maryellen McKeon

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